state o mind

This day gonna b d 2nd f***in day of ma lyf. Having fever,messed with my colleagues....getting scolded frm home with no reason...messed my studies....walking whole night alone and got caught by cops,daring to leave this hell but the thought of my both sis weakens me...still breathing though its getting hard to breathe in here....

Ship of life is sinking in dis sea of sorrows,complains,apologies,blame,abusive words,un necessary debates and numerous soul beating ...but still m standing...dono from where this strength is coming or Wat is thing that making me strong its probably the thought that every thing is gona b fine ....

I knw people say m rude,m 2 quite,m emotionless....i accept it..but how can i smile over there talks when i have no reason for it,why should i stay polite when no one out there listens wat i wanna say...m being exploited frm years by my own people.i hve been crooked by my own people ....

Is everybody only knows how to exploit others....its almost been 22yrs of my life and I've  been working hard,still m unsuccessful ... but i don't mourn on it coz i know i can learn nething when i want to...i believe in myself...and hope its not my overconfidence...m not scared of hard work ...m scared of overindulgence habit of myself....

i just wanna b out of this hell.....the picture of this world is getting blur in my eyes...m livin aparted and bottled-up with hatred for everyone,m being explosive to every -ve thought or word which others give,i feel like to stab the person's face if he is being rebellious to anyone....

These days m hung between sadness and happiness...m being inactive it feels like m dying every minute...

MY WOrD

I stand in the shadow of my fears
calling your smile.The sound gets lost
because there isn't a thing to stop it.
There is no heart on which it can take a rest
or just tilt it.There's nothing.

My word travels around the world
and wanders,wanders like a pirate
in a search for treasure and in whose
eye shines freedom.

The word is crazy and have no sense
like a drunk sailor it disappears in the dark,
and than in the morning it follows
the seagulls,god knows where...

That's just my word,that's me!
And life,life is all that sky and sea underneath.
And those seagulls and sadness.life is freedom
and my word has it in its eye.
And i have you,in my eye and my heart.
Then again i'm just my word,
and you,you are my freedom an my life.

And if you see a message in the bottle
in this sea of life,you will know it is for thee
and please do not open it,let it flow and wander.
Because you'll know that in every moment of life
my word is Love,and while i am standing in my shadow of fear
i call for your smile with "i love you".

An Angel In My Thoughts

The word Love dosen't say much
i say it in vain
i dream of you in vain
because when words cause pain
in vain is our life
and all things we had said

But you mean everything
and again those words
if i wanted them to stay
they would leave me in spite

My smile is a lie
it declares my pain
my pain on my lips,
but flew from yours
and just like that came to stay
and remind me on you.

I would vanish like i was never even here
like scented dust
driven by the wind in the eternal circle
i would dissapear and hide in your hair
so it smels like me
and you never forget me.

ovr the edge

Do you believe in the unseen,
That things could happen and it not be a dream?
What happens when imaginary lines reality,
and you realize lifes just your fatality,
What happens when everything you knew is gone,
and everything and every person you ask, is wrong,
with every step you take you wonder why you go on,
You feel like any second you could walk off the edge,
and you didnt even know you were walking on the ledge,
With all of yourself gone, you want to just fall,
but every time you jump its like theres a wall,
you scream cause you think it makes it better,
and you continue to cry,
you dont realize it just makes you wetter,
you just want everything and everybody back together,
You didnt know one mistake could change things,
You didnt know that pain is what that thing brings,
ending it all would be your solution,
but death takes that as a rude intrusion